A Mississippi News anchor recently claimed that the GLBTI ABC community have been "in the news too much lately" (Quoting from the Advocate's original article)
Now, admittedly, his statement was badly worded and the suggestion we should all just go on 'gaycation' comes across as highly offensive. And the community rightly pointed out that at the moment we're still not equal despite rapid changes so far.
Despite this, this hasn't brought out the best of our community. While most of the comments have pointed out the double standards in his commentary and have remained respectful both to him and to his right to freedom of speech, other comments on the Advocate's Facebook feed on this story have included such witty remarks as "idiot", "penis head", "go fuck himself", just to grab a few.
And very few, if any of these comments, have actually addressed the issue itself. Now, I admit, I come from a slightly outside point of view - I live in New Zealand and have, for all intents and purposes, full marriage equality under the Law. As mentioned in previous posts however, this doesn't necessarily mean that homophobia has been wiped out, the opposite is true. But the question remains - could too much coverage be a bad thing?
Honestly, I don't know. There is an argument that disproportiante coverage of the issue might do more damage than good to the case - perhaps this is what Mr. Elliot was alluding to (admittedly in a rather clumsy and badly worded way) - that it might turn those who might actually support our cause either off, or it will create a fatigue of the story which may do more harm than good.
But this question is not being asked, it's not being discussed - what's the best strategy for gaining equality for our brothers in the US of A? Can an argument be made that perhaps toning it down for a while to come back stronger and achieve better results be made?
Be keen to hear your thoughts...
Friday, March 28, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
The 'Homosexual Lifestyle'
Last night, I went for dinner at my partner's parents place. We had a lovely summery meal - lots of salads, corn on the cob, and a whole roast lamb cooked on the barbecue. The ever-gracious hostess had guests from the United States (Montana and Arizona, I believe), plus from the Wairarapa. We discussed travel, hunting, family, all the sort of things you'd discuss at a normal dinner party.
Then we caught the bus back into town. Now, I don't normally have a problem with public transport. But there's something... unnerving about an evening bus service on a Friday night. I feel uncomfortable - like if these young, slightly intoxicated passengers found out I was gay, i would be subject to taunting and even perhaps violence. Regardless of the truth of the nature - I'm sure most of the young people are friendly, accepting, modern young people - a gay man has to act as 'straight' as possible to avoid unknown threats. Now, anyone who knows me knows I'm not really that big a fan of public displays of affection, but still, it's uncomfortable thinking, 'what if they know? Am I giving off a gay vibe?'.
So it's within this context that I get genuinely disheartened when I read blog posts like Michelle Kaufman's "Big Gay Out: Politicians, children and human dignity?". For one, it feeds into this idea that being gay, being different is abnormal, that it's OK to discriminate against someone because they're different than you are. And it's this sort of discrimination and bigotry that makes people like me feel nervous when we're in unusual societal situations. And for those who may not yet fully understand their sexuality or have recently come out, reading comments like these from people who are supposed to love, support or represent them must be down right scary.
On top of this, the thing that Michelle doesn't seem to understand is that, just like there is no such thing as a specific Christian lifestyle, is that THERE IS NO SUCH THING IS A HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE. While an event like Big Gay Out, Auckland Pride or pride events in general are great at increasing visibility for GLBTI issues in our society in general, no one event, no one organisation can claim to speak for all queer folk everywhere. Just like the Catholic Church, or Family Life International cannot claim to speak for all Christians everywhere.
There are so many different kinds of queer folk. Undoubtedly, there are GLBTI families who have decided not to go to these events because they're not ready yet to expose their children to sex education, just as much as there are families who do go. There are GLBTI individuals who choose not to go to these events because they don't, for whatever reason, feel events like these represent them.
When you have individuals railing against these sort of events, asking how politicians can 'endorse these behaviours', they are isolating the Christian communities from families who very well might share their beliefs - monogomy, marriage, raising children in a loving two-parent family, even faith and a belief in God. You are pushing them away from the flock.
We are a nation of individuals. GLBTI individuals and families are not only nothing to fear, but many simply wish to live in a very similar way to you - as a well-balanced, happy family, the basis of which is the same as many 'Christian value' families - love. When discriminatory, hateful rants like this are posted, you do more damage to your cause than good.
Then we caught the bus back into town. Now, I don't normally have a problem with public transport. But there's something... unnerving about an evening bus service on a Friday night. I feel uncomfortable - like if these young, slightly intoxicated passengers found out I was gay, i would be subject to taunting and even perhaps violence. Regardless of the truth of the nature - I'm sure most of the young people are friendly, accepting, modern young people - a gay man has to act as 'straight' as possible to avoid unknown threats. Now, anyone who knows me knows I'm not really that big a fan of public displays of affection, but still, it's uncomfortable thinking, 'what if they know? Am I giving off a gay vibe?'.
So it's within this context that I get genuinely disheartened when I read blog posts like Michelle Kaufman's "Big Gay Out: Politicians, children and human dignity?". For one, it feeds into this idea that being gay, being different is abnormal, that it's OK to discriminate against someone because they're different than you are. And it's this sort of discrimination and bigotry that makes people like me feel nervous when we're in unusual societal situations. And for those who may not yet fully understand their sexuality or have recently come out, reading comments like these from people who are supposed to love, support or represent them must be down right scary.
On top of this, the thing that Michelle doesn't seem to understand is that, just like there is no such thing as a specific Christian lifestyle, is that THERE IS NO SUCH THING IS A HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE. While an event like Big Gay Out, Auckland Pride or pride events in general are great at increasing visibility for GLBTI issues in our society in general, no one event, no one organisation can claim to speak for all queer folk everywhere. Just like the Catholic Church, or Family Life International cannot claim to speak for all Christians everywhere.
There are so many different kinds of queer folk. Undoubtedly, there are GLBTI families who have decided not to go to these events because they're not ready yet to expose their children to sex education, just as much as there are families who do go. There are GLBTI individuals who choose not to go to these events because they don't, for whatever reason, feel events like these represent them.
When you have individuals railing against these sort of events, asking how politicians can 'endorse these behaviours', they are isolating the Christian communities from families who very well might share their beliefs - monogomy, marriage, raising children in a loving two-parent family, even faith and a belief in God. You are pushing them away from the flock.
We are a nation of individuals. GLBTI individuals and families are not only nothing to fear, but many simply wish to live in a very similar way to you - as a well-balanced, happy family, the basis of which is the same as many 'Christian value' families - love. When discriminatory, hateful rants like this are posted, you do more damage to your cause than good.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
On Gordon Copeland's Dominion Post op-ed
While sitting down and reading the Dominion Post this morning, I came across an opinion piece by Gordon Copeland - this can be read here.
Now, to start with, my opinions on the matter are pretty clear - I've already expressed them in a few previous blog posts (here's the most recent), but for some reason this particular piece really got to me.
First, the most obvious points that stand out.
For a start, as the article points out, there's something very hypocritical about Mr. Copeland making the argument that civil unions have the same rights as married couples when he voted against the Civil Union and Relationship Act he quotes in the article. Secondly, as he well mentions, the legislations aren't the same. The most obvious difference is the adoption rights. This gets to me - if there are children who don't have any parents, surely two people who love each other, regardless of gender, are better than having nobody?
Finally, and this to me seems the most obvious point - gay people cannot get married. Mr. Copeland makes the argument that they don't need to - that they have the same rights as heterosexual couples under the legislation. But to an extent, this still creates the idea of a second-class citizenry.
He makes several arguements on this - such as women's rights to vote, arguing that we didn't do this "by redefining men to include women", but this wasn't what the legislation was about - we instead opened the definition of 'voting citizen' to include women, not having separate titles, 'voting men' and 'voting women' and having different legislation for each of them.
And then he makes the argument that " that a marriage between a man and a woman is biologically different from a union between two women or two men". This argument falls short for a number of reasons - what about those unions that either choose to not or cannot have children? What about those civil unions that have children already, through children from prior marriages or invitro fertilisation and surrogacy (both of which are legal?).
On top of this, I believe that granting true equality in the law will help our society be more tolerant towards other people. While reporting can be difficult, especially when it comes to suicide in New Zealand, GLBTI students have more problems with bullying, are more likely to attempt suicide, and are more likely to take risks when it comes to sex (1). We need to be making societal change to make young GLBTI students feel safer, and starting at the top by doing as much as possible to legitimise these relationships, while not a solution, would be a step in the right direction.
At least in one point, Mr. Copeland and I agree. We both believe that marriage is an important cornerstone of our society, and that it is the best way to raise children. The difference is, while he sees no reason that same sex couples should be granted this right, I see no reason that it shouldn't.
(1) http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/2987987/Suicide-risk-for-gay-bisexual-youth
Now, to start with, my opinions on the matter are pretty clear - I've already expressed them in a few previous blog posts (here's the most recent), but for some reason this particular piece really got to me.
First, the most obvious points that stand out.
For a start, as the article points out, there's something very hypocritical about Mr. Copeland making the argument that civil unions have the same rights as married couples when he voted against the Civil Union and Relationship Act he quotes in the article. Secondly, as he well mentions, the legislations aren't the same. The most obvious difference is the adoption rights. This gets to me - if there are children who don't have any parents, surely two people who love each other, regardless of gender, are better than having nobody?
Finally, and this to me seems the most obvious point - gay people cannot get married. Mr. Copeland makes the argument that they don't need to - that they have the same rights as heterosexual couples under the legislation. But to an extent, this still creates the idea of a second-class citizenry.
He makes several arguements on this - such as women's rights to vote, arguing that we didn't do this "by redefining men to include women", but this wasn't what the legislation was about - we instead opened the definition of 'voting citizen' to include women, not having separate titles, 'voting men' and 'voting women' and having different legislation for each of them.
And then he makes the argument that " that a marriage between a man and a woman is biologically different from a union between two women or two men". This argument falls short for a number of reasons - what about those unions that either choose to not or cannot have children? What about those civil unions that have children already, through children from prior marriages or invitro fertilisation and surrogacy (both of which are legal?).
On top of this, I believe that granting true equality in the law will help our society be more tolerant towards other people. While reporting can be difficult, especially when it comes to suicide in New Zealand, GLBTI students have more problems with bullying, are more likely to attempt suicide, and are more likely to take risks when it comes to sex (1). We need to be making societal change to make young GLBTI students feel safer, and starting at the top by doing as much as possible to legitimise these relationships, while not a solution, would be a step in the right direction.
At least in one point, Mr. Copeland and I agree. We both believe that marriage is an important cornerstone of our society, and that it is the best way to raise children. The difference is, while he sees no reason that same sex couples should be granted this right, I see no reason that it shouldn't.
(1) http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/2987987/Suicide-risk-for-gay-bisexual-youth
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Jeanne Manford
A very quick post.
I consider myself extremely lucky. I live in a time and place where GLBTI people have a lot of rights and general protection under the law. I know that it's not perfect, that GLBTI citizens in Western civilisations still have a long way to go, but it's a lot better than it was 30 years ago.
GLBTI younger than 40 have a lot to thank for those who fought homophobia in law and society in the 70's and 80's. Jeanne Manford, the US founder of PFLAG is one of those who we owe a lot to.
The below video comes from MSNBC's Rachel Maddow Show. Worth a quick look at.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Home again, Home again
So, after over three months on the road, we've been back home in New Zealand for about two weeks.
We flew Singapore Airlines from Heathrow to Auckland with a two hour stop-over in Singapore. I must admit, I highly recommend flying Singapore. Great service, very friendly staff, and more gin and tonics and Singapore slings than perhaps were needed. We left Wednesday evening and arrived home Friday evening, so about 30 hours in transit.
It must be said, it's nice to come back to a New Zealand summer after a London winter - from single figure temperatures to high teens, sun shine and beaches. Still, there's something to be said for the crispness of a London winter's night, especially with the Christmas decorations up - walking through Hyde Park in the evenings heading to the Winter Wonderland, Regent and Oxford Street lights, the beauty of the watery light coming in through the empty branches of deciduous trees. Plus mulled wine and hearty English meals! Unfortunately we missed snow, but I'm sure there will be another chance.
I think there will be lots of things I'll miss about the other side of the world. The sheer magnificence of the world's great cities, the ease of getting about - staying in one city and then going for dinner in another - experiencing new cultures, new ways of doing things, and of course the cuisine!
Still, it will be nice to be home for Christmas. I've been swimming, caught up with family and friends, eaten BBQ...
Okay, in a lot of ways, New Zealand is not as first world as it likes to think it is. It's public transport is expensive and slow - no underground or light rail to speak of - it's infrastructure needs a lot of work, for a society that considers itself bicultural there are an awful lot of people who only speak one language and its media needs a good seeing-to.
Still, I went for a walk along Raumati Beach on Saturday night. The sky was hundreds of different shades of blue, the water clear, the sand clean and I didn't have to fight any crowds as there was hardly anyone there. And it's moments like that, of tranquility and peace, that make you realise that, for all its faults, for all its backwardness, New Zealanders are lucky to live in a particularly beautiful part of the world.
We'll go back... but we'll need to save a bit of $$ first.
Right... time to find a job and somewhere to live! Will keep y'all posted!
We flew Singapore Airlines from Heathrow to Auckland with a two hour stop-over in Singapore. I must admit, I highly recommend flying Singapore. Great service, very friendly staff, and more gin and tonics and Singapore slings than perhaps were needed. We left Wednesday evening and arrived home Friday evening, so about 30 hours in transit.
It must be said, it's nice to come back to a New Zealand summer after a London winter - from single figure temperatures to high teens, sun shine and beaches. Still, there's something to be said for the crispness of a London winter's night, especially with the Christmas decorations up - walking through Hyde Park in the evenings heading to the Winter Wonderland, Regent and Oxford Street lights, the beauty of the watery light coming in through the empty branches of deciduous trees. Plus mulled wine and hearty English meals! Unfortunately we missed snow, but I'm sure there will be another chance.
I think there will be lots of things I'll miss about the other side of the world. The sheer magnificence of the world's great cities, the ease of getting about - staying in one city and then going for dinner in another - experiencing new cultures, new ways of doing things, and of course the cuisine!
Still, it will be nice to be home for Christmas. I've been swimming, caught up with family and friends, eaten BBQ...
Okay, in a lot of ways, New Zealand is not as first world as it likes to think it is. It's public transport is expensive and slow - no underground or light rail to speak of - it's infrastructure needs a lot of work, for a society that considers itself bicultural there are an awful lot of people who only speak one language and its media needs a good seeing-to.
Still, I went for a walk along Raumati Beach on Saturday night. The sky was hundreds of different shades of blue, the water clear, the sand clean and I didn't have to fight any crowds as there was hardly anyone there. And it's moments like that, of tranquility and peace, that make you realise that, for all its faults, for all its backwardness, New Zealanders are lucky to live in a particularly beautiful part of the world.
We'll go back... but we'll need to save a bit of $$ first.
Right... time to find a job and somewhere to live! Will keep y'all posted!
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Bath - it's old school!
It aint warm over on this side of the channel.
It's kind of weird to have gone from, two or so weeks ago, temperatures in their high twenties, to now overnight lows of below zero. It's not necessarily a bad thing - there's something beautiful about a crisp autumn day; Big piles of leaves to kick, clear watery light coming in through the empty branches of the trees, and mulled wine.
Oh, and flooding.
We headed up to Bath to catch up with a friend and to have a look at the city. Even coming in by train, the water was everywhere, like riding a train over a huge lake, rather than a river.
Nonetheless, Bath is a truly beautiful city. We arrived in the middle of their Christmas Market, so we drank mulled wine and ate British pies (What, I hear you ask are British pies? Simple, they're pies made in Britain. Duh.) and did some shopping.
As you can see from the picture, it was an absolutely beautiful crisp autumn day.
Our lovely host made us a roast pork dinner that evening, which was lovely!
Day two we made a late start to the day and headed to the Roman Baths. Bath is a city that was built around service to these baths, so is a very old place. Unlike other Ancient Roman cities we've visited however, the whole city was essentially built over the top of the older city, so it's a mix of ancient and other times.
Still, the Baths are amazing. Naturally hot, steaming water in these Roman Ruins, plus the story of where all the water comes and goes. The ruins are quite well preserved and well researched, so you get a real idea of what the place used to be like.
After that, we had a walk through the Victorian Part of the city - Victoria Park and the Royal Crescent. Quite beautiful.
The last day we decided to head out of the city and, rather than be overly touristy and go see Stonehenge, we went and saw a henge that was made of stones. BAM!
Avebury is quite interesting - you get there by driving through this old English country side - thatched houses, cute brickwork stores, bricked in paddocks. Then you arrive at the stones themselves - huge circles of stone in large circles. Very interesting, and not as touristy and Stonehenge (apparently). Well worth the morning out of the city.
So yes, if you need a break from the Big City, I'd highly recommend a weekend away to Bath. Take a car, because touring around the countryside is also very interesting and cute as well.
It's kind of weird to have gone from, two or so weeks ago, temperatures in their high twenties, to now overnight lows of below zero. It's not necessarily a bad thing - there's something beautiful about a crisp autumn day; Big piles of leaves to kick, clear watery light coming in through the empty branches of the trees, and mulled wine.
Oh, and flooding.
We headed up to Bath to catch up with a friend and to have a look at the city. Even coming in by train, the water was everywhere, like riding a train over a huge lake, rather than a river.
 |
| The Abbey sits over the Christmas Market |
As you can see from the picture, it was an absolutely beautiful crisp autumn day.
Our lovely host made us a roast pork dinner that evening, which was lovely!
Day two we made a late start to the day and headed to the Roman Baths. Bath is a city that was built around service to these baths, so is a very old place. Unlike other Ancient Roman cities we've visited however, the whole city was essentially built over the top of the older city, so it's a mix of ancient and other times.
 |
| How the Romans did it! |
After that, we had a walk through the Victorian Part of the city - Victoria Park and the Royal Crescent. Quite beautiful.
The last day we decided to head out of the city and, rather than be overly touristy and go see Stonehenge, we went and saw a henge that was made of stones. BAM!
Avebury is quite interesting - you get there by driving through this old English country side - thatched houses, cute brickwork stores, bricked in paddocks. Then you arrive at the stones themselves - huge circles of stone in large circles. Very interesting, and not as touristy and Stonehenge (apparently). Well worth the morning out of the city.
 |
| Nick and Corry get Stoned! Hah! |
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Oh, I do like to be beside the Seaside...
After five days in London, we decided a seaside holiday might be nice!
In November.
In temperatures ranging between 5-10 degrees.
Ah, a beach holiday!
Anyway, we took the train from London to Brighton (helpful tip for new players, make sure you book online in advance, you can end up spending three times as much booking on the day as booking online) and were met at the other end by our lovely host Shannon who met us at the station with - get this - cocktails in takeaway coffee cups. Start as you intend to continue!
Then, after dropping our stuff off at the house and a quick dinner, we headed out to an quintessential British Experience - The Pub Quiz. We came fifth, but who cares, we had so much fun! And we met a few other locals who gave us their take on the city. Plus cider. There was cider.
So a quick tour of a couple of other local pubs (there may have been more to drink), we made our way back to the house.
First evening, a success!
The next day we made our way downtown to the Lanes. After a lovely brunch of Smoked Salmon Benedict and a soya mocha (yes, a real soya mocha! Sorry, it's been a while), we window shopped in all the cute little stores in the middle of town. Yes, I tried on a purple top hat. Sorry folks, had to be done.
Then we made our way down to Brighton Pier - it's kinda gray, depressing and plastic. But, as we are wont to do, we made the most of it. I tried to win a stuffed Dalek and failed. Brighton Beach is similar to Nice in that there's no sand, it's just pebbles. So it's not that great for just walking or sitting on. Plus it was raining and gray, so all in all...
After that, we made our way to the Royal Pavillion. We didn't go in, but had a good look around the outside as well as a look around the museum. It's an amazing building from the outside, with Indian style domes - very flamboyant.
After more coffee and chocolate, we had a quiet night in.
Day two started off with home made eggs benedict. While we were going to head outside of the city and see the Seven Sisters, it was too late by the time we got out of the city. So instead we just hung out at local places:
- We drunk mulled cider and ate chocolate guiness cake
- We had lunch in the gay district
- Then headed into the lanes and had delicious chocolate brownies
- And then Shannon cooked us home made Paella
- Before we went out for drinks in the Gay District again.
So yes, essentially a day of eating and drinking.
So Brighton was absolutely lovely. It's a funky city full of fun, hip people, amazing shops, great eatings and drinkings. I think it would be lovely to go back for a long weekend in a slightly warmer period.
Next stop - Bath.
In November.
In temperatures ranging between 5-10 degrees.
Ah, a beach holiday!
Anyway, we took the train from London to Brighton (helpful tip for new players, make sure you book online in advance, you can end up spending three times as much booking on the day as booking online) and were met at the other end by our lovely host Shannon who met us at the station with - get this - cocktails in takeaway coffee cups. Start as you intend to continue!
Then, after dropping our stuff off at the house and a quick dinner, we headed out to an quintessential British Experience - The Pub Quiz. We came fifth, but who cares, we had so much fun! And we met a few other locals who gave us their take on the city. Plus cider. There was cider.
So a quick tour of a couple of other local pubs (there may have been more to drink), we made our way back to the house.
First evening, a success!
The next day we made our way downtown to the Lanes. After a lovely brunch of Smoked Salmon Benedict and a soya mocha (yes, a real soya mocha! Sorry, it's been a while), we window shopped in all the cute little stores in the middle of town. Yes, I tried on a purple top hat. Sorry folks, had to be done.
Then we made our way down to Brighton Pier - it's kinda gray, depressing and plastic. But, as we are wont to do, we made the most of it. I tried to win a stuffed Dalek and failed. Brighton Beach is similar to Nice in that there's no sand, it's just pebbles. So it's not that great for just walking or sitting on. Plus it was raining and gray, so all in all...
After that, we made our way to the Royal Pavillion. We didn't go in, but had a good look around the outside as well as a look around the museum. It's an amazing building from the outside, with Indian style domes - very flamboyant.
After more coffee and chocolate, we had a quiet night in.
Day two started off with home made eggs benedict. While we were going to head outside of the city and see the Seven Sisters, it was too late by the time we got out of the city. So instead we just hung out at local places:
- We drunk mulled cider and ate chocolate guiness cake
- We had lunch in the gay district
- Then headed into the lanes and had delicious chocolate brownies
- And then Shannon cooked us home made Paella
- Before we went out for drinks in the Gay District again.
So yes, essentially a day of eating and drinking.
So Brighton was absolutely lovely. It's a funky city full of fun, hip people, amazing shops, great eatings and drinkings. I think it would be lovely to go back for a long weekend in a slightly warmer period.
Next stop - Bath.
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