The sun is shining, the grass is green, the air is surprisingly still. Perhaps a little too still. We did what we normally do on a Sunday - we go to the market, we do a little window shopping, and we pick up some fresh bread and hummus from Moore Wilsons. We'll shortly be going for a walk along Oriental Parade, just to get some fresh air before cooking dinner.
And yet, there is a sense of slight apprehension in the air. Wellington has been warned about 'the big one' since I can remember, and events in the South have made us all the more aware that this supposed big one can hit at any time. We feel for our Southern Kinsmen, you'd be hard pressed to find a New Zealander who didn't know someone affected. Yet you can't help but think, are we next?
Of course, it's supposed to be rather pleasant weather in Christchurch as well. However I highly doubt that many of them are continuing with life as normal, that they've had much to enjoy today. Many of them will be trying to secure their buildings, support family members or grieving over those that didn't make it.
I've heard from most of my family and friends in Christchurch and the news is good for most of them - a few broken bones, some property damage, but they all made it through. For that I am eternally grateful.
And now for them, as with everyone else who made it through, life must go on. Admittedly not life as normal, but it must still go on. And for those outside of the city, all our thoughts and prayers go out to them. That the ground will stop shaking, that the recovery effort can go on.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, October 22, 2010
Re. It Gets Better
Recently there have been a few stories of gay youth being bullied to the point of suicide in the United States. While this is unfortunately nothing new (studies showing that gay teens are four times more likely than their straight counterparts to commit suicide), it does, well, suck. It's great to see everyone from Lady Gaga to President Obama getting behind the cause of supporting gay teens with several organisations getting some much needed publicity.
To be honest I guess I've been kinda lucky in this respect. What kept me in the closet was essentially fear - I was worried about what people would think - what people would do. Luckily it turned out that, growing up, I had a family who supported me and friends that I could rely on. I'm not saying that I wasn't bullied, I definitely was. Ultimately I think what got me through the last few years at high school was the support of a select group of people who treated me just the same when I came out as beforehand - they realised that I was still the same person which allowed me to come out of my shell and be me. I was never physically abused, and I knew that, at the end of the day, I was going to leave the town behind and move on to new and better things.
And that's the point - it does get better. I now have a job I enjoy in a city that openly supports gay culture and a partner that loves me. I've met some great people and had experiences that I wouldn't necessarily have got the chance to if I was straight. I've been out of the closet for over ten years now and honestly I can't imagine ever going back in.
I think most importantly I've learned not to let my sexuality define who I am as a person. Yes, I'm a gay man that's a very small part of my identity. It's not that I'm not proud of my sexuality, I am. But the way I see it it's not something that I have any choice in - it's not something I've earned or had to work at, it's just who I am, it's no more or less a part of me than any other part of my personality.
Perhaps that has something to do with my generation - we have a lot to thank those who came before us, who've had to live through epidemics and seen their friends die, who've had to openly fight against laws that stopped them being who they are. The fight isn't over, but it's a damn sight better than it's ever been.
So for those who read this who might be having a hard time, I'm not going to tell you to come screaming out of the closet. I'm actually a little realistic in this respect. Coming out is often not the best solution, I know it sucks but that is the world we live in. What I can tell you is that (and I know that this is beginning to sound trite), as I said before, it gets better. High School sucks. It's awful, and it's not just me saying that. It's hard enough just learning who you are, then learning to deal with the stress of exams, social politics and bullying. But you can leave that behind. You will meet people who are interesting and supportive. There will be a whole world out there of experiences - of love, of happiness. Just stick it out for a little while longer.
And, should you need further help it is out there - the It Gets Better Project, the Trevor Project and, in New Zealand there is the university support groups and Gayline Wellington is a great place to start.
To be honest I guess I've been kinda lucky in this respect. What kept me in the closet was essentially fear - I was worried about what people would think - what people would do. Luckily it turned out that, growing up, I had a family who supported me and friends that I could rely on. I'm not saying that I wasn't bullied, I definitely was. Ultimately I think what got me through the last few years at high school was the support of a select group of people who treated me just the same when I came out as beforehand - they realised that I was still the same person which allowed me to come out of my shell and be me. I was never physically abused, and I knew that, at the end of the day, I was going to leave the town behind and move on to new and better things.
And that's the point - it does get better. I now have a job I enjoy in a city that openly supports gay culture and a partner that loves me. I've met some great people and had experiences that I wouldn't necessarily have got the chance to if I was straight. I've been out of the closet for over ten years now and honestly I can't imagine ever going back in.
I think most importantly I've learned not to let my sexuality define who I am as a person. Yes, I'm a gay man that's a very small part of my identity. It's not that I'm not proud of my sexuality, I am. But the way I see it it's not something that I have any choice in - it's not something I've earned or had to work at, it's just who I am, it's no more or less a part of me than any other part of my personality.
Perhaps that has something to do with my generation - we have a lot to thank those who came before us, who've had to live through epidemics and seen their friends die, who've had to openly fight against laws that stopped them being who they are. The fight isn't over, but it's a damn sight better than it's ever been.
So for those who read this who might be having a hard time, I'm not going to tell you to come screaming out of the closet. I'm actually a little realistic in this respect. Coming out is often not the best solution, I know it sucks but that is the world we live in. What I can tell you is that (and I know that this is beginning to sound trite), as I said before, it gets better. High School sucks. It's awful, and it's not just me saying that. It's hard enough just learning who you are, then learning to deal with the stress of exams, social politics and bullying. But you can leave that behind. You will meet people who are interesting and supportive. There will be a whole world out there of experiences - of love, of happiness. Just stick it out for a little while longer.
And, should you need further help it is out there - the It Gets Better Project, the Trevor Project and, in New Zealand there is the university support groups and Gayline Wellington is a great place to start.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Ruminations caused by sleep deprivations...
I can't sleep.
And it's not just a 'not tired' kinda feeling, because goodness knows I am tired. It's just, for some reason, my mind has started racing backwards. I always know I'm in trouble when I get like this. Generally speaking, my mind doesn't race to the happy times, it always starts to remember people and times that weren't when I was happiest. It's not that I have loads of regrets, don't get me wrong. As a general rule, I've lived a relatively happy life. A family and a partner that continue to love me, despite, well, me being me. I've achieved a lot that I'm proud of - graduating both college and university, a selection of jobs that I have enjoyed (albeit there are ones I've enjoyed less). I've never really gone hungry, and I've met some great friends along the way and had some really good times with them. I've packed a lot in my nearly 30 years, and I still have a lot to go and a lot to look forward to.
Still...
When I think back, generally it's the mistakes I've made, the friends I've let fade away, those that I've (admittedly inadvertently) hurt and those that I've let hurt me that come flooding back. It's the feelings that generally one doesn't really want to remember, the experiences one wishes one could forget. There were a few years that I remember weren't the happiest days of my life, in fact to be honest I was pretty messed up - I didn't really know how to deal with people or relationships, and I may have hurt people without ever meaning to. I don't blame anyone or anything except myself for this, I think it really was just a learning experience. I also met some people then that I still consider friends, and I am very lucky they are still in my life.
I prefix the following with the understanding that I am doing this to make myself feel better, to perhaps get rid of some past demons that are haunting me rather than to make those that I am referring to feel better. With that said, if there are those who read this who do take this to heart, I do mean every word of it.
I know that the likelihood of these people actually reading this post being amongst those I'm addressing is ridiculously slim, but nonetheless I now put out there to anyone out there who I may have wronged in the past, to those who I have let slip out of my life without a proper goodbye, to those I may have unthinkingly offended, to those who tried to support me that I may not have thanked sincerely enough, I never meant to be an arse. If I've offended you I am truly, truly sorry. I can assure you that it really was a misunderstanding, that I was really just trying to get through from a place I don't think I really ever understood properly and, to this day, still partially don't.
Strangely enough, that does feel a lot better.
P.S. To those who are reading this who know me now, don't worry, there's nothing to fear, I'm not going to slip into a melancholy funk from which I will never escape from. I am over it, I assure you.
And it's not just a 'not tired' kinda feeling, because goodness knows I am tired. It's just, for some reason, my mind has started racing backwards. I always know I'm in trouble when I get like this. Generally speaking, my mind doesn't race to the happy times, it always starts to remember people and times that weren't when I was happiest. It's not that I have loads of regrets, don't get me wrong. As a general rule, I've lived a relatively happy life. A family and a partner that continue to love me, despite, well, me being me. I've achieved a lot that I'm proud of - graduating both college and university, a selection of jobs that I have enjoyed (albeit there are ones I've enjoyed less). I've never really gone hungry, and I've met some great friends along the way and had some really good times with them. I've packed a lot in my nearly 30 years, and I still have a lot to go and a lot to look forward to.
Still...
When I think back, generally it's the mistakes I've made, the friends I've let fade away, those that I've (admittedly inadvertently) hurt and those that I've let hurt me that come flooding back. It's the feelings that generally one doesn't really want to remember, the experiences one wishes one could forget. There were a few years that I remember weren't the happiest days of my life, in fact to be honest I was pretty messed up - I didn't really know how to deal with people or relationships, and I may have hurt people without ever meaning to. I don't blame anyone or anything except myself for this, I think it really was just a learning experience. I also met some people then that I still consider friends, and I am very lucky they are still in my life.
I prefix the following with the understanding that I am doing this to make myself feel better, to perhaps get rid of some past demons that are haunting me rather than to make those that I am referring to feel better. With that said, if there are those who read this who do take this to heart, I do mean every word of it.
I know that the likelihood of these people actually reading this post being amongst those I'm addressing is ridiculously slim, but nonetheless I now put out there to anyone out there who I may have wronged in the past, to those who I have let slip out of my life without a proper goodbye, to those I may have unthinkingly offended, to those who tried to support me that I may not have thanked sincerely enough, I never meant to be an arse. If I've offended you I am truly, truly sorry. I can assure you that it really was a misunderstanding, that I was really just trying to get through from a place I don't think I really ever understood properly and, to this day, still partially don't.
Strangely enough, that does feel a lot better.
P.S. To those who are reading this who know me now, don't worry, there's nothing to fear, I'm not going to slip into a melancholy funk from which I will never escape from. I am over it, I assure you.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Re. ACT party inner turmoil, what will be the outcome?
I've just read a piece by Michael Laws on the internal argument of the ACT party (you can read the opinion piece here). On a side note, while I find it rather amusing the irony of Laws using the analogy of a disintegrating marriage to prove his point given all that he's been through recently, I find his conclusions rather shortsighted.
As he points out, short of a stint in prison you can't really rule out anyone out of power. I fail to see how, a year out from the general election, he can announce the ACT party dead in the water, and the National party in danger of flailing in the same pond.
The advantage of MMP is that your party doesn't have to rely solely on electorate seats. Rewrite your member list before the election and you can ensure that those who created the problem in this term don't even have to feature in the next - a tool that both National and Labour have used to their advantage in the past. Hyde could theoretically continue to hold on to his Epsom seat (which I'm not arguing is guaranteed) by clever campaigning, or failing that ACT could put up another worthy candidate in another electorate, the ACT party could come back in the next election with an entirely different set of MPs.
Failing that, National may not even necessarily need ACT come 2011. Many of the political polls aren't too short from having National gaining over a 50% share of seats. Even slightly short they can always rely on Dunne to back them up. And, should ACT fail to gain the support required to get into power, the conservative vote will have to go somewhere - ACT not being in the picture might actually work to National's advantage.
As he points out, short of a stint in prison you can't really rule out anyone out of power. I fail to see how, a year out from the general election, he can announce the ACT party dead in the water, and the National party in danger of flailing in the same pond.
The advantage of MMP is that your party doesn't have to rely solely on electorate seats. Rewrite your member list before the election and you can ensure that those who created the problem in this term don't even have to feature in the next - a tool that both National and Labour have used to their advantage in the past. Hyde could theoretically continue to hold on to his Epsom seat (which I'm not arguing is guaranteed) by clever campaigning, or failing that ACT could put up another worthy candidate in another electorate, the ACT party could come back in the next election with an entirely different set of MPs.
Failing that, National may not even necessarily need ACT come 2011. Many of the political polls aren't too short from having National gaining over a 50% share of seats. Even slightly short they can always rely on Dunne to back them up. And, should ACT fail to gain the support required to get into power, the conservative vote will have to go somewhere - ACT not being in the picture might actually work to National's advantage.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
I'm lovin' it... or am I?
A bit of old news however McDonald's France has brought out a 'Gay Friendly advertisement:
Now, I must admit I do rather like this ad! It's portraying gay teens without revolting stereotypes and deals (albeit only lightly) with the difficult situation of coming out to parents who you don't think will accept you for who you are. Alternatively of course it could be argued that he's just not ready yet - we're not really sure of the history, relationship... it's 30 seconds for goodness sake!
There has been some criticism of this advertisement from gay media arguing that it's a blatant attempt to gain some of that lucrative pink dollar. Of course this is a commercial attempt to tap into the gay market! It's McDonalds, that's to be expected, they're all about the money. But I think the subject matter has been dealt with in an effective way - there's no flailing wrists, no lisp, no in-your-face-ness about this. In fact nowhere in the ad is it even obviously mentioned that the kid is gay, it's simply very clearly implied. I think the ad makes a greater point of inclusion regardless of who you are than an obvious 'we're gay friendly' stand.
What I find interesting (albeit unsurprising) is the way that McDonald's US has dealt with the subject matter, essentially stating in no uncertain terms that it has no interest whatsoever in screening the ad Stateside.
On one hand, this runs the risk of irritating the gay community, which compromises of about 10 million Americans (conservative estimate only based upon less than a 4% calculation). McDonald's has traditionally been quite a strong supporter of the GLB cause, including donating money to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. On the other hand, it may not be such a stupid response for McDonald's (or, for that matter, any company in the states) to take commercially speaking. As much as I hate to admit it, this stance could actually help their sales. When Ford took a supportive stance over gay rights, lobby groups helped to drop its sales by 8% per month. Playing the conservative card in an economic recession is probably the safer bet.
However this ad and others like it give me hope. It's nice to see gay people being treated as individuals, not just fitting into a nice comfortable box. I can't, off the top of my head, think of anything like this being screened in NZ on any of the major networks (I'm happy to be proven wrong), so hopefully we'll get to see something like this before too long.
Now, I must admit I do rather like this ad! It's portraying gay teens without revolting stereotypes and deals (albeit only lightly) with the difficult situation of coming out to parents who you don't think will accept you for who you are. Alternatively of course it could be argued that he's just not ready yet - we're not really sure of the history, relationship... it's 30 seconds for goodness sake!
There has been some criticism of this advertisement from gay media arguing that it's a blatant attempt to gain some of that lucrative pink dollar. Of course this is a commercial attempt to tap into the gay market! It's McDonalds, that's to be expected, they're all about the money. But I think the subject matter has been dealt with in an effective way - there's no flailing wrists, no lisp, no in-your-face-ness about this. In fact nowhere in the ad is it even obviously mentioned that the kid is gay, it's simply very clearly implied. I think the ad makes a greater point of inclusion regardless of who you are than an obvious 'we're gay friendly' stand.
What I find interesting (albeit unsurprising) is the way that McDonald's US has dealt with the subject matter, essentially stating in no uncertain terms that it has no interest whatsoever in screening the ad Stateside.
On one hand, this runs the risk of irritating the gay community, which compromises of about 10 million Americans (conservative estimate only based upon less than a 4% calculation). McDonald's has traditionally been quite a strong supporter of the GLB cause, including donating money to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. On the other hand, it may not be such a stupid response for McDonald's (or, for that matter, any company in the states) to take commercially speaking. As much as I hate to admit it, this stance could actually help their sales. When Ford took a supportive stance over gay rights, lobby groups helped to drop its sales by 8% per month. Playing the conservative card in an economic recession is probably the safer bet.
However this ad and others like it give me hope. It's nice to see gay people being treated as individuals, not just fitting into a nice comfortable box. I can't, off the top of my head, think of anything like this being screened in NZ on any of the major networks (I'm happy to be proven wrong), so hopefully we'll get to see something like this before too long.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Paul Henry's an arse.
Not that you didn't know that already, but I felt it needed to be said. What's really disturbing is now that TV3 has cancelled Sunrise, Paul Henry will be given validity to spew forth whatever un-PC nonsence he feels on inflicting upon the public.
I completely understand the justification for cancelling the show. TV3 is a commercial entity - unlike TVNZ they actually have to make a profit on their shows, and when Breakfast is almost doubling Sunrise's ratings most mornings, I understand that it's just not a feasible venture. I just think it's disappointing that in New Zealand we don't have enough public support in order to offer two substantially different products in this timeslot (although it has been argued relatively effectively that there just wasn't enough difference between the two shows). We can do it at 7pm (although they're both rubbish), why are we unable to do so in the morning?
I must admit, I did enjoy Sunrise. I felt they were beginning to get the formula right. Admittedly I'm pretty much exactly the demographic they were aiming for (A liberal 18-35 year old pakeha), but Oliver Driver and Carly Flynn were actually intelligent, had personality and were able to present both views of an argument relatively effectively. It was obviously coming a mile off that the show wasn't effective, and many argue (how very Fox News of me) that changes were needed.
And now of course Paul Henry rules the airwaves in the time slot. If one wishes to watch breakfast TV, they're gonna have to put up with this right-wing shennanegans. Even more reason I guess to listen to National Radio.
I completely understand the justification for cancelling the show. TV3 is a commercial entity - unlike TVNZ they actually have to make a profit on their shows, and when Breakfast is almost doubling Sunrise's ratings most mornings, I understand that it's just not a feasible venture. I just think it's disappointing that in New Zealand we don't have enough public support in order to offer two substantially different products in this timeslot (although it has been argued relatively effectively that there just wasn't enough difference between the two shows). We can do it at 7pm (although they're both rubbish), why are we unable to do so in the morning?
I must admit, I did enjoy Sunrise. I felt they were beginning to get the formula right. Admittedly I'm pretty much exactly the demographic they were aiming for (A liberal 18-35 year old pakeha), but Oliver Driver and Carly Flynn were actually intelligent, had personality and were able to present both views of an argument relatively effectively. It was obviously coming a mile off that the show wasn't effective, and many argue (how very Fox News of me) that changes were needed.
And now of course Paul Henry rules the airwaves in the time slot. If one wishes to watch breakfast TV, they're gonna have to put up with this right-wing shennanegans. Even more reason I guess to listen to National Radio.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Happy Chocolate day
Woke up and my beloved boy had given me a Guylian Easter Egg with praline chocolate bars. Days like this are why I love him as much as I do!!! Except he was very awake first thing in the morning, and forgotten that daylight saving had kicked in. Now, I'm sorry baby boy, but 7am is not a reasonable time to be up on a Sunday if I don't have to be. Ever.
So, a quiet day today. Not much happening in the world, what with it being Easter and all. Interesting piece on Mediawatch this morning (SG, you might like this) - more 50% of stories in Australian newspapers are driven by PR (wrap up of the findings here). Not that this is much of a surprise, but it does raise the question of how (or even if) this can be remedied. Probably a little depressing if one were looking at getting into journalism...
Be very interesting to see how this study compares to NZ journalism or US journalism.
So, a quiet day today. Not much happening in the world, what with it being Easter and all. Interesting piece on Mediawatch this morning (SG, you might like this) - more 50% of stories in Australian newspapers are driven by PR (wrap up of the findings here). Not that this is much of a surprise, but it does raise the question of how (or even if) this can be remedied. Probably a little depressing if one were looking at getting into journalism...
Be very interesting to see how this study compares to NZ journalism or US journalism.
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